The weekend is rapidly coming to an end, which means back to the grind stone tomorrow, bummer!!! Oh well, it's what we have to do to pay those damn bills, at least that what I keep telling myself.
Devin and I did some fishing this weekend, God I love spending time like that with him, it just means so much to me. I was pissed this week because I had sacrifice my time with him because of work obligations. I admit, I do get a little irritated when I have to give up any spec of time I have with him. He is growing so fast, soon he will become a man, wow! I love watching him waiting for that ever so elusive fish to bite his hook. Come on you little bastards, cut the kid some slack and bite that damn hook will ya!!!!
He is so fascinated with fish, I truly hope he pursues his dream of becoming a Marine Biologist.
Well, I am back to square one on the dating scene, sucks, but what are you going to do! I just can't seem to meet someone that is ACTUALLY, REALLY, ready for another relationship. It seems to be the same story over and over, it's like the movie ground hog day, only it involves me!! I spill my entire life story, take my time, be patient only to find out at the moment of truth they aren't ready, WTF!!!!!
I sometimes feel like I am the only one out there that is emotionally healthy. I have worked so hard over the past three years to get here!! I have put the work in and I am ready dammit!!! I needed to vent that frustration, it is hard to find someone to talk to that truly understands where I am coming from. I wrote the following poem last year, it describes how I am feeling. Maybe someday, maybe someday!!!!
Expectations
I sit alone as the sun sets in the distant horizon; my thoughts are filled with questions of which I cannot find answers too. It’s as if I am looking into a world that my presence will never exist, I reach out desperately seeking to be touched, but only to feel the stillness of an empty room. I try so hard to keep believing in miracles, one of which that will bring my true love and I together. This sea of expectations I have drifted upon for so long is vast, and shows little mercy to those who choose to navigate its treacherous waters. Do I concede and let the sea claim my dreams of true love…or do I continue to drift among its vast waters in hopes of finally reaching my destination?
1 comment:
I can just see you and Devin hanging out fishing by the water. What great memories you are creating for him to share with his kids. He is growing up fast!!
Being single is frustrating, but when you do find that special person it will all be the sweeter and both of you will have an appreciation for each other that will most people will never understand. Hang in there!!!
Love,
Lil' Sis
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